I thought the sky had opened up when the man I ordered from the Universe decided to kiss me. However, before he first kissed me, he was acting strange, so I actually asked him if he had anything he wanted to tell me. To that, he simply kissed me, no explanation, so I assumed he had changed his mind and was ready for a fun, happy, healthy relationship. I was excited and believed there was finally a god for me. This beautiful man, who I’ll name Asterix for this article, was about to take a chance on me and he wouldn’t regret it!
We saw each other once every ten days or so, which was an okay rhythm for me for now knowing he’s taking a chance and opening up to me. We’ll go with the flow. I respect that. I value my freedom most of all, so I understand his fears. We had such amazing times together! He even met my sacred circle, (my family) and came to our piece of heaven. It was a big deal! My family loved him right away. They even said we made a great couple and they couldn’t believe the way we looked at each other. It was so deep and intimate. And we had so many plans together! I was going to be his booking agent, build his website, do his CD cover, write songs with him, paint and write while he plays. He wanted to travel vagabond-style like I dream of doing! Imagine the possibilities! God! It felt like heaven!
One morning, we went out on the lake on his inflatable kayak for two and to our amazement, we saw an asteroid fall from the sky and vanish about 20 feet above the lake! Now that’s magic! Of all the people around the lake, Asterix and I were probably the only ones to see it. Talk about a sign from the Universe! God is finally smiling down at me! All is right in the world! I hadn’t felt that comfortable with a man in 10 years and it was just starting! I thanked the Universe every chance I had for bringing Asterix into my life. What a blessing! And the best part, is that I’m finally ready to give and receive good healthy loving and I had laid out my conditions of satisfaction from the start: communication, respect, exclusivity, honesty and loyalty. A real best friend with benefits!
Boy was I wrong!
He wanted to be my best friend with benefits AND have sex with other women. Whatever gave him that right to use me that way? See, that doesn’t work for me at all. How can you be my best friend if you’re cheating on me, disrespecting me, and worst of all, putting my health at risk? Not to mention that it’s disgusting! What I should have done when he first kissed me was verify by asking him point blank: “Are you ready to commit to an exclusive relationship with me?”
I’m in so much pain right now. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. What I should have told him from our very first date is that “my vagina is connected to my heart and my soul. That’s how I function, I’m built that way, If we sleep together, I will fall in love with you and want to be with you forever“.
I hope that once I’m healed, Asterix and I could be just friends. If it’s meant to be.
I love the chorus of this song.