I was ecstatic when Asterix and I met up after a few weeks apart and he announced that he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me. In theory, everything was fine. But technically, there were quite a few missing pieces. First of all, he was the most dangerous person I could be with because he didn’t want to love me, and he also didn’t want to lose me. So, he lied to me and used me until he found someone else and quickly replaced me.

Looking back now, I realize I felt the red flags, all of them, but I chose to ignore them and put my faith in love instead of in his lack of action. He rarely wanted to communicate with me. Even when we were on an eighteen hour road trip, he preferred silence to conversation. He never wanted to talk on the phone either, he preferred very quick impersonal text messages. I respected that and accepted it… Never again! I’m worth so much more than that!

Here are a few important things I learned:

    • Always pay attention to the red flags and question them.
    • Lack of action on his part is a giant red flag.
    • Trust doesn’t live in the same space as lies.
    • The more chances you give someone, the less they value you.
    • I deserve to be treated with love and respect.
    • Honesty and communication are crucial to a good relationship.

Finally, he may have been most of what I asked for in a man, except he didn’t choose me the way I chose him. Next relationship I get involved in, whoever he is will have to make me a priority. I am worthy. In the meantime, just breathe.

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